alexa, play blue hair by tv girl

 i kinda miss having dyed hair. it's been over a year since i've coloured it, and even then it wasn't a fun and bright colour back then; we just toned it black. but i also like having my hair be healthy for a change, plus i've been growing it back out and now it's about mid-to-lower back length. but i also miss my short hair. ughhh. maybe i'll flip a coin and let that decide if i chop all my hair off and bleach it blonde or not.

not quite a poem, not quite NOT a poem

 hello, lovelies!

as mentioned in a previous post, i wanted to post a bit of my old creative writings. i personally am indifferent to most of them, as i don't hate them like i did when i first wrote them nor do i love them. several things were written when i was in a low mental state, and i feel that that is reflected in the imagery i tried to conjure with some of my pieces. also, almost nothing is finished. some poems were written for high school assignments, some snippets were written based on songs, some are monologues i wrote when sleep evaded me.

this is... a thing, i suppose. i'm not sure how i feel about it, but i guess it's the one i dislike the least? it barely qualifies as poetry. it's just... something. but, i've shared it somewhere else before, so it makes me the least anxious to post here. whatever, it's most definitely not good, but i've committed and hopefully these nerves i have about posting this go away quick enough haha.

personal dismemberment

sometimes i lay in my bed
naked as the day i was born
and i imagine my limbs aren't mine
my body is that of a doll
i close my eyes and pick and choose
just what shape i'd like to be today
a modern-day frankenstein
i'd like to peel off all my skin
is that strange to say
break apart my chest and tear open my stomach
fill the cavities with sand
stitch myself back together
get up, look in the mirror
and hope i'll like me this time

a statement, a question, and gratefulness

 hello, lovelies!

this post is actually just a couple things!

first, i want to thank those of you who have given me a follow over this past week! you're all so sweet, and i am so happy to have you here! and i those of you who are simply just passing through, i appreciate all of you, too! i can't wait to share more of my thoughts and life with all of you! <3

second, a question: if i were to muster up the courage sometime to post some of my old creative writing snippets, would y'all be interested in that? it's mostly fiction, none of it finished, but there's some poetry, too. please do let me know if that'd be something you all would be interested in seeing! 

anyways, that's all i wanted to say. again, thank you all for even just stopping by and looking at my blog, i really do appreciate it!

xoxo

self-proclaimed [media] enthusiast

 hello, lovelies!

i mentioned on my about me page that i wanted to write more reviews and analyses for the media i consume. i haven't finished any books since starting this blog, so book reviews are gonna have to wait until probably the very end of august or the beginning of september. music reviews should be easier to come up with, since i listen to a lot of albums front to back. movie and tv show reviews are a bit middle of the road to me in terms of difficulty; i have a lot of thoughts about the things i watch, but i'm not very good at putting the thoughts into words. nevertheless, she persisted!

i'm thinking my first review, whatever it may be, will come out sometime within the next week or so. i'm excited to challenge myself to think critically about something for the first time in a while, and i hope you all will like them, too!

anyways, that's all for this little post! thank you for reading!

xoxo

adventures in physical media 💿📼📀

 hello, lovelies!

there are a couple things to know about me:

first, i love watching movies and tv

so, last year, when my grandmother asked me if i wanted some of her old vhs tapes, as well as her vcr, i was ecstatic. except, after she gave it to me, i left the vcr in the box and put it under my bed for over a year. and the tapes? those went into my closet with the rest of the tapes leftover from my childhood. IN MY DEFENSE, my tv hadn't been mounted yet, so i felt that setting it all up just for it to have to be undone and then redone in a couple weeks would be a waste. i mean, it was going to be mounted shortly after my twenty-first birthday. and then it wasn't. by the fourth of july, then. nope, it remained on a card table we had set up. surely, before halloween! wrong, yet again. before i knew it, it was my twenty-second birthday, and the tv remained unmounted. finally, though, my brother and brother-in-law did it.

"okay, so you set up the vcr right away, then?" if by right away you mean another five months later, then yes! it took some trial and error, and realizing my grandmother didn't give me the remote for it, but i finally had it set up. all the cords were plugged into the correct inputs and everything. so, i pulled out my favourite movie, uptown girls, and popped it into the dvd player side of the vcr. worked beautifully. i did the thing that dads do when you're watching something in the living room where they act like they don't want to watch it, but then they end up standing behind a chair and being more invested than you in it and stood in the middle of the room watching it. so i popped the dvd out and back into it's case and decided to test the actual star of the show: the vcr herself. i went to my newly set up media shelf and picked out a tape. it had been about ten years since i had actually used a vhs tape, so i did google how to put it into the machine just to make sure i wouldn't destroy the tape or the vcr. finally, it was in, the machine was set to the correct mode, i looked to the tv screen and... nothing. i ejected the tape and put it back in, making sure i was watching the screen to see if it was just waiting for me to do something. it did the usual thing, and then nothing, again. i tried again a couple more times, no luck. so still no working vcr, but at least i have a dvd player. and i did get the remote eventually.  

second. i love music, and almost always have it playing at some capacity at any given moment

i practically lived on spotify. i have many, many playlists i would regularly shuffle through. i've made playlists for other people. i've burned cds from playlists for a friend's birthday. i love music. it's in my blood. but recently, i was unable to renew my spotify premium subscription. "no big deal," i thought. "i had the free version for nearly ten years before biting the bullet and getting premium, surely i can do it again." i was wrong, apparently. ads every other song, five at a time, limited skips, not being able to rearrange my queue. i couldn't do it. i was distraught. how would i live without my music? then i remembered something. i had a collection of cds and cassette tapes, just waiting to be played again. in middle school, i had listened to my original cd of from under the cork tree by fall out boy so many times it broke. and i had obtained not one, but two cd players from my papa, as well as already owning another player and a stereo system. so, i pulled out all one hundred and thirty-one cds from the bottom drawer of my nightstand and dusted them off. thank god for those hoarding genes, i suppose. and i had pretty much anything i ever wanted to listen to: i had eighties mixes, greatest hits from queen and the beatles, grammy's nominees from the early 2000s, all the pop and rock albums i adored, and (almost) every taylor swift album at least once. PLUS i had whatever loose cds from my dad and several cassettes from my papa. fleetwood mac, sade, and tracy chapman. DOUBLE PLUS, a random seven inch vinyl of a couple songs from the movie 10. unfortunately, i no longer have a record player, but i'm more than happy simply displaying it with my cds and cassettes in my cabinet.

as for the cassettes... i've only tested one, fleetwood mac's live album, the dance. it wasn't the best. the audio quality was grainy and a bit warbly, but it wasn't the worst i had ever heard, in all honesty. never forget when i received a cd from my dad of what i thought was katy perry's album prism. imagine my shock when instead of light pop, i was met with a bootlegged cd of five finger death punch. i cried. but the cassettes are fine, i like having them. i might test another one out soon. maybe celine dion's the colour of my love.

i don't really remember what the point of this post was, i won't lie. i think i just wanted to talk about my adventures in being a physical media lover recently. don't even get me started on my book collection. it's so much worse. 

until next time, xoxo

welcome!!

 hi! welcome to my blog, i'm so happy to have you here!

i've wanted to do something like this for forever, but i just never got around to it. i think i was probably intimidated by the idea of learning how to code things, because i am NOT tech savvy in the slightest.

here i'll talk about whatever i want, whenever i want: books, movies, music, whatnot. i'll also hopefully post updates in my life, and maybe this'll be the push i need to start my youtube channel! keyword: maybe.

anyways, that's all for this post. i just wanted to do a quick little introduction before i really get into it.

hope you stick around, and i hope you enjoy your stay!

xoxo