borders bookstore i miss you

 hello, lovelies!

today, i figured that since i've already started talking about my favourite movies that i would talk about some of my favourite books, as i read a lot... perhaps a little too much, actually. this year, my goal was to read every day and to finish thirty books. now, so far, i've read a little bit every day as i had hoped, and i beat my book goal in february. my exact stats as of today are: one hundred and fourteen books, and twenty-three thousand, seven hundred and eighty-two pages. which is crazy because i didn't read that much in the last four years combined. wild what determination to have a year-long habit forming project will do. ANYWAY.

sharp objects by gillian flynn. i first read this because my favourite booktuber (book youtuber) at the time, paperbackdreams (i miss you, kat, please come home), read it and gave it a rave review. i'm very easily influenced. i'm just probably very easy, actually; if a pretty girl looked at me at all i'd fold faster than a busted lawn chair that doesn't stay open. when i read this book for the first time, my mental health had begun to sort of spiral downwards. i found myself relating to camille in ways i didn't think i could, and in ways that i knew i shouldn't. 

it was the first adult novel i had read, and i LOVED it. i mean, obviously i did, since i reread it every year, as well as rewatch the tv show as often as i can. maybe that sounds fucked up, given the subject matter and storyline, but i like what i like. 

with mentions of the subject matter, i think i should give a warning for those of you that may feel a desire to check this book out. it involves heavy topics such as self-harm, rape and sexual assault, and abuse, and should not be gone into lightly or by those of you under the age of seventeen. now, i was about fifteen when i read this, and i strongly advise against doing what i did. i blame my parents for buying me the book without vetting it first, but what's been done can't be undone. 

the way that gillian flynn wrote about mental illness always amazes me in a way; she has such raw and realistic ways of portraying emotions and thoughts of depressed and mentally ill individuals in her writing. even in her other books, dark places and gone girl, though i feel that this novel, which was her first, is the best. and yes, i have read dark places and seen it's film adaptation, and i hated them both. i've only seen the film adaptation of gone girl, though i am in the process of reading it, after yvonne finally convinced me to earlier this week.

i also collect editions of this book. some people collect other books, like the velveteen rabbit or the great gatsby, but not i. no, those would be too normal and mentally stable for me, it seems. i had to pick the book where the main character is an alcoholic former cutter. i still need to get a standard paperback edition, because i gifted my original copy to yvonne before she left for college a few years back, but i have a first edition hardcover (which is the edition i decided to use for the picture above), a mass market paperback (which are my favourite format to read), and a simple hardback with the current publishing cover. there are other editions i want to get, too, even though i get sideways looks from my grandmother because she thinks it's pointless to have more than one copy of a book. sorry you just don't get it, grandma.

comfort me with apples by catherynne m. valente. i read this novella earlier this year, and i fell in love with it as soon as i read the first page. or... well, i listened to the audiobook, actually. but as soon as i finished it, i couldn't stop thinking about it and decided i needed it physically on my shelves, so i went out and bought it. i read this because of the title, in all honesty. i've mentioned it before, and i used to have a introduction gadget that literally said i was a "lover of apples", so i think it was meant to me, honestly.

i knew nothing when i was going into this book, and i think that's the best way to get into it. the twist, or the reveal, rather, hit me upside he head with a lead pipe. although, maybe that's because i was multitasking while listening and wasn't picking up on the little details. or maybe that's just me being unobservant, which is quite prevalent in my day-to-day life. i mean, my gaydar is just completely out of whack and i have and zero success in romantic escapades. maybe it's because i say shit like "romantic escapades" now that i think about it...

i don't want to talk too much about the plot of this book, because that would spoil it, so i think this section is gonna be a bit short. the audiobook was fantastic, and it's only about two hours long or so, and the physical book is less than two hundred pages, so it's a quick read. plus, every chapter title is a different type of apple, and i am an apple girlie, so i loved that little aspect of it.

the wedding people by alison espach. this is my most recent read on my favourites list, i believe (editor's note: yes, it is).  it's also the only favourite book of mine that i don't own physically yet, though i almost bought it at barnes and noble recently. i went with a different book, though, as mentioned in my post book store run with mama y papa.

the main character of this novel is suicidal. the whole reason she's even where she is is because she intends to kill herself there. it was a whole dream she had had; the ideal vacation spot where she wanted to go with her husband. then he left her for another woman. if i was unable to have children with my husband and he left me for another woman, one who had a baby and was capable of having more, i'd want to kill myself too. well, actually it didn't take nearly that much to make me even actually attempt to, but that's neither here nor there.

i had seen this book sort of blow up on social media, or at least the circles i run in on social media, but was a little skeptical. i've found that as i've gotten older, i've grown wary of popular books, because more often than not i've hated them or found them not at entertaining as the general public has. but this one... woah.

i picked this book because i needed it for a goodreads challenge and it was the only book without a waitlist. i read the entire thing in one day. well, less than a day, technically. i just couldn't put it down. it's not often that i find a book that i just can't stop reading, but i was so happy to have picked up this one because obviously it's one of my favourites. i don't recommend this novel if you're struggling with suicidal thoughts or ideation; though it's not the MAIN plot line, it is still major and i want you all to stay safe. much love to all of you.

that's all for this post. i know, the sections are pretty short, but i've been under the weather for a hot minute, and i'm blaming lizzy because we're connected and she's going through it, too. but i still wanted to post something like this because i'm genuinely having so much fun with this blog, and i didn't want to leave y'all hanging in case any of you were eagerly awaiting a new post from me. until next time!

xoxo