another little piece of something

 hello, lovelies!

i'm trying to write my first analysis, but i'm struggling with getting my thoughts coherently onto the page, as i am quite rusty when it comes to writing anything, really. but trust that i am working on it, it just won't be coming as soon as i had hoped.

for now, i wanted to post some more old writings i have. this one is more recent, though i was... a tad bit inebriated when i wrote it, so if it's bad, i blame the wine. i was also listening to melodrama by lorde on repeat, and had been for several hours beforehand. i was and always will be a supercut girlie, it was the first song i had heard from the album, and it partially inspired this excerpt thing. i was and always will be a supercut girlie.

mind palace (supercut)

in my head i can see it so clearly. everything i ever wanted is within reach and i have them in my grasp. a partner who loves me and doesn't think i am broken and in need of being discarded. family that i chose that doesn't make me feel small. maybe a child that has my eyes. maybe not.
in my head i am smart and funny and beautiful. i can dance and sing and play guitar. maybe i'm an author, or a famous musician. maybe i am an actress and winner of several awards. maybe i am a teacher.
in my head i do everything right. 

but i am not in my head. that is all just fantasy. i am not smart, or funny. i don't have a partner, i barely have friends. i have never been held by a lover, never touched with a gentleness reserved for a soulmate. i am not doing anything worthy of being noted in my life. there are no novels i have written. no awards i have won. there are no children with my eyes. there will never be any children with my eyes.