i wish i were someone else entirely

 hello, lovelies!

i realized it's been a minute since i posted a piece of creative writing, so i wanted to do that! i posted this one on my substack a few months ago, but i wanted to post it here since... well, because i just wanted to and totally not because i'm embarrassed of my other works i have that i've not posted so this was my best solution. totally not that. i want to get back into writing again, so if i do i'll be posting some of those pieces, but for now, all i have are some old bits and bobs that i feel either indifferent about or hate because i'm embarrassed to have written something i deem poor and mediocre. well, no matter. here's something, i suppose.

manic pixie dream girl

i stay up late to mourn the girl i could have been. i see her in other girls on the street, in films and on television. i see her in my friends. i see her in my sister. free. happy. content. loved. she doesn't feel like an intruder in her own home, like a swine wearing the skin of a person, desperately trying and failing to be beautiful. she doesn't think that she is a burden, that she is inherently unwanted. she laughs without care, dances with the moon under amber lamp light. she travels and lives in the moment, lets herself be carried by the breeze. she is a lover. she is unattainable. she does not exist.